Grumpy

Wake up

The sun peeks into the room barely

The scent of dried pickles circles the atmosphere

Why she takes the smell away

Suddenly, I smell roses                no lilac

For a second I forget that I have to get up

The clock says 8 am, but my body aches like

Its 4 am and I groggy like a baby whose sleep

Was just disrupted, but I can’t cry

That’s not acceptable in our society

I have to get up

I have to continue living day by day

I have to not care whether or not I want to

Or don’t want to

I have to fake it

Finally

With the leap of faith it usually takes someone to plummet to their death

I get out of bed why

I can feel the throbbing below my waste I’ve never gotten used to it

The draw strap on Hanes tucks it away

Comfortable

My aching body scurries to the bathroom sink

Mirroring nothing near to a reflection

Eye are mirrors

Mirrors are eye they see everything

My daily routine

Daily

Weekly

Monthly

Annually where is my paycheck

I should have one of those jobs

It reads

It reads, $11.75/ per hour never ending

I drop toothpaste on my chest

She’s still sound asleep in bed lucky

I recall choosing this life long ago in undergrad now grad

Now my pants don’t fit anymore my gut pokes out of all of dress shirts

That one button at the apex can never be closed

She turns in the bed and mumbles in her sleep

What is she saying?

I have no idea but I’m sure her breath smells like caramelized unions

She the top of my heart

And I have it

The reason I continue to go where I hate

It’s her

I become jealous of her freedom

She wants picnics at brunch and long weekends

The sun naturally kisses her skin and she glows

She’s the time I looked into the bulb of a lamp

Trying to figure it out never did

She’s my cold coffee

I wake up and I sit at that desk

I give tours

I make friends

I do whatever

I have to do for her, us

I wake up

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