The sun peeks into the room barely
The scent of dried pickles circles the atmosphere
But she takes the smell away.
Suddenly, I smell roses no lilac
For a second I forget that I have to get up.
The clock says 8 am, but my body aches like
Its 4 am and I groggy like a baby whose sleep
Was just disrupted, but I can’t cry
That’s not acceptable in our society
I have to get up
I have to continue living day by day.
I have to not care whether or not I want to
Or don’t want to
I have to fake it.
With the leap of faith it takes to jump off the empire state
I get out of bed
I can feel the throbbing below my waste I’ve never gotten used to it
The draw strap on Hanes tucks it away
My aching body scurries to the bathroom sink
Mirroring nothing near to a reflection.
Eyes are mirrors
Mirrors are eyes seeing everything from a perspective different than my own.
My daily routine
Annually; where is my paycheck?
I should have one of those jobs
Instead, it reads $11.75/ per hour of eternity.
I drop toothpaste on my chest.
She’s still sound asleep in bed, lucky.
I recall choosing this life long ago in undergrad now grad
Now my waistband leaves imprints around my gut.
Now my gut peaks through out of all of dress shirts.
-That one button at the apex can never be closed.
She turns in the bed and mumbles in her sleep.
What is she saying?
She, the top of my heart.
And I got it!
The reason I continue to go where I hate.
Though, I become jealous of her freedom,
She wants picnics at brunch and long weekends.
The sun naturally kisses her skin and she glows
She’s the time I looked into the bulb of a lamp
Trying to figure it out
She’s my cold coffee
I wake up and I sit at that desk
I make friends.
I do whatever
I have to do for her, us.
I wake up.