Grumpy

Wake up

The sun peeks into the room barely

The scent of dried pickles circles the atmosphere

But she takes the smell away.

Suddenly, I smell roses                no lilac

For a second I forget that I have to get up.

The clock says 8 am, but my body aches like

Its 4 am and I groggy like a baby whose sleep

Was just disrupted, but I can’t cry

That’s not acceptable in our society

I have to get up

I have to continue living day by day.

I have to not care whether or not I want to

Or don’t want to

I have to fake it.

Finally

With the leap of faith it takes to jump off the empire state

I get out of bed

Why?

I can feel the throbbing below my waste I’ve never gotten used to it

The draw strap on Hanes tucks it away

Comfortable

My aching body scurries to the bathroom sink

Mirroring nothing near to a reflection.

Eyes are mirrors

Mirrors are eyes seeing everything from a perspective different than my own.

My daily routine

Daily

Weekly

Monthly

Annually; where is my paycheck?

I should have one of those jobs

That reads

Instead, it reads $11.75/ per hour of eternity.

I drop toothpaste on my chest.

She’s still sound asleep in bed, lucky.

I recall choosing this life long ago in undergrad now grad

Now my waistband leaves imprints around my gut.

Now my gut peaks through out of all of dress shirts.

-That one button at the apex can never be closed.

She turns in the bed and mumbles in her sleep.

What is she saying?

She, the top of my heart.

And I got it!

The reason I continue to go where I hate.

Her.

Though, I become jealous of her freedom,

She wants picnics at brunch and long weekends.

The sun naturally kisses her skin and she glows

She’s the time I looked into the bulb of a lamp

Trying to figure it out

-never did.

She’s my cold coffee

I wake up and I sit at that desk

I make friends.

I clock-in.

I do whatever

             I have to do for her, us.

I wake up.

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