It took a little inspiration mostly looking at other writers I look up to, bumping trap music, and doing the usual mother’s day type family things. I went through the day today, and I took everything in. Not because I went to church this morning, or because I am in the process of being thankful (mindful) of everything around me. I took everything in because these types of holidays cause my head to spin and hyper-awareness sets in, though I never ask for it to. When it sets in, I find that I am actually thankful.
Today I spoke with my lover and friend who has had a rocky relationship with their mother for their whole life, trying not to mention that it was in fact Mother’s Day. As we texted back and forth discussing Twitter trolls and music regular conversations in our two-man circle I ran across more than a few quotes celebrating individuals who have grown beyond having the typical mother child relationship.
“and to the children
who grew up motherless,
who found the strength to become
both the lotus and the gardener
of their own hearts.
Happy mother’s day to you.”
This one mainly stuck out to me. Mainly because I wonder what justifies a mother. Where is the line that separates the women who birth children from the mothers of this world. We have all come from a woman, yet we do not all have mothers.
Today I saw my friend continue to swallow his pride to reach out to his mother, to celebrate her after everything. Then, I remembered the times where I my mother or father or someone close to me hurt me, and I remembered what forgiveness looked like. Forgiveness is not about accepting apologies. It is the deep breath in and the exhale. It is about feeling human because being human is the thing that connects us all.
At the core of it, I feel like this whole day is worth celebrating so we can remember how human we all really are. Mothers, and women who birth humans have impacted all of our lives in some way. Shit, most the female authors that inspire me are mothers themselves. I am surrounded by both women who birth and mothers and neither needs to be discredited.
I commend the women who have children because I learn more and more everyday how hard that shit really is. I commend the people whose mothers have left scares because I see everyday how hard that shit is as well. Thank you all for growing, thank you all for trying, and thank you all for being human.